Change the Narrative – Women Can Have it All
Since I was a child, I’ve heard so many stories of women sacrificing their careers to be stay-at-home moms, or women putting their personal lives on hold to build a career. The narrative is that they are too busy with their career to date, get married, have children, or properly take care of their children. Meanwhile, the woman who has a family is too busy and distracted by her family to be productive and successful at work. What do you think about this?
In addition, society is often harsher and judgmental towards the ambitious woman who wants to have it all. That’s the woman who has big dreams, wants to achieve major goals in her life, wants to build a successful career and/or a profitable business, while still having time to care for her family (spouse or kids) and also care for herself.
The danger of having a single story is that this narrative that women have to be just one thing turns into a stereotype and a limitation placed on them. This false narrative becomes the norm, the societal standard, the lens through which people look through to place judgments on women without getting to know them, without giving them the opportunity to choose what type of life they want, or without giving them the resources and time to see what they are capable of. So the narrative that women have to be one place, either be stay-at-home moms or working women in the office was the norm for so long and once an idea is a popular belief, it can affect the mindset of so many people, like the women who live in the society but also the men they have in their lives.
Therefore, growing up I had a passion to change that false narrative about women because based on that limiting idea, the stories we tell ourselves as women is that we can’t have all that we desire, we can’t have an abundance of resources, and opportunities, we can’t have a successful career or business and still have a happy and healthy home or that we can’t even take time out for ourselves to have fun, relax and practice self-care because it’s selfish.
And god forbid if some ambitious women decide to push back, break free from the limitations and the box society tries to place on us, their perception of the woman is generally negative. Sometimes being ambitious and assertive as a woman gets you labeled as being bossy, bitch, maybe mean, arrogant, thinks she’s better than everyone, she must not have time for her kids, she must be bitter, and unhappy in her personal life, she’s trying to be a man, she probably is a feminist and hates men, etc. Who decided this and created such rhetoric and why did we listen to this for so long?
I bet it wasn’t a woman because women are strong and dynamic, Not strong in a toxic sense that they should spread themselves too thin, doing everything for everyone, putting their life on hold, and neglecting their dreams, health and happiness, but I mean strong in that they have the ability to create, cultivate and change the world starting with themselves. They can be loving, caring, and nurturing but still be assertive, firm, focused and live their lives with healthy boundaries. They can love their families and spend time with them, but also prioritize time for self-care. Women can be and do whatever they desire and choose to do because just like men, they have free will, they are brilliant and are capable of wearing different hats, have different roles, and handle different responsibilities if they choose.
Women are also badass because they are highly intuitive, knowledgeable, skilled, talented, and gifted, so the same abilities they have to juggle different things, care for different people in their life and manage their homes, are the same abilities that make them an asset in the world. Their ability to properly manage their time, energy, and resources are the exact skills that help them build, manage and balance successful careers and businesses when they are given the same opportunities, resources, and support as men.
Also, just the way women come in different colors, shapes, and sizes, we also have different hopes, dreams, goals, perspectives, personalities, preferences, principles, purpose, and path. Therefore the narrative that women can’t have it all is false and dangerous because it’s not one size fits all. Hence, it doesn’t matter if you choose to be a stay at home mom to manage your home, raise your kids, work from home or have a career away from the home, run a business, or start an organization, just know that it is your decision and whatever you choose should be what’s best for you and your family and not what society expects you to do.
The funny thing is that regardless of what you choose, you are still doing great work, so what we as women need is more support, and less judgment. Whether you spend more of your time with yourself, your children/family, your friends, colleagues, team or community, you should be working on your personal development, learning, growing, teaching, guiding, loving, leading people and making a positive impact in people’s lives. Your position or place in life isn’t what defines you, you are defined by the content of your character, the value you bring, the choices you make, and the work you do wherever you are. As a woman, you are worthy and deserving of all the best that God has given and life has offered you, so stop playing small, stop limiting yourself, stop confining yourself in that little box that others have caged you in because it’s time to step out of your comfort zone.
Today, make a decision to let go of the stereotypes, the anxiety of what people have to say about you, of people’s expectations of you, or the preconceived notions that you can’t achieve your greatest goals because you can. You are capable of doing amazing things at home, in the office, at your place of worship, in your community, and anywhere else in the world. Brush off the dust that’s been sitting on those major goals you put away and allow yourself to dream big again like you did when you were a child. Believe in yourself that you can do it and believe that if God has called you to do something, he has already provided a way, he has placed the right people on your path to support you and he has given you the resources to achieve it.
Find that spark, that passion and purpose in life you once had, and get to work. You have to be very honest, clear and unapologetic about what type of live you want. You also have to make sure that you re very intentional about focusing your thoughts, words, feelings, decisions, habits and actions on your goals by aligning them with the vision of your life. Write those specific goals and details of your dream life down, then start creating a plan to execute your goals and make your dreams a reality. Your plan must work for your life because it must align with your authentic self, your vision, your core values, and your goals for it to work and move you closer to your destination. Book a Consultation Call with me for direct support, guidance, and accountability in creating an effective plan of action and implementing systems that help you achieve your unique goals and design the exact life you desire.