I hope your day is going so well. As I mentioned in my previous post “A Recap of 2018 – How to Reflect & Grow from your Experiences”, to fully grow from your experiences and step into the next phase of your life, you need to be able to reflect on past experiences, major milestones, your blessings, achievements and any challenges you may have had. It also helps you appreciate the great things in your life, while you take notes on lessons learned and apply them in your life as you move forward, because you always have to be intentional about the life and experiences you want to create.
Here are some of the questions I ask myself routinely especially at the beginning, middle and end of the year.
What were the major milestones and life defining moments of 2018?
What were your greatest blessings that your grateful for?
What were your major challenges?
What were your biggest lessons throughout the year?
And below are my answers to these questions
Major Milestones & Greatest Blessings
- My Mindset Growth – My growth in 2018 was off the chart because I was very intentional about working on myself. I got a Mindset Coach, I joined a Mastermind/Accountability group, I read a lot of books on self development and listened to Podcasts and teachings to overcome my fears, doubts and insecurities. This helped me transform my mindset, grow my faith in God, level up in all areas of my life and simplify my life.
- Becoming an Ex- People Pleaser – I’ve generally being a people pleaser and a “Yes girl” all my life and it was time to grow up. This wasn’t easy but it was definitely worth it to change. I learned to say “No” to people and things for different reasons. I learned to love myself more and prioritize my mental, physical and spiritual health before adding other things to my plate. I learned to fill up my love tank before I allowed people to withdraw from it so I wouldn’t run dry and get burnt out. I became very intentional about the people I was spending time with, how I was managing my time, the purpose behind my actions and if it was just to make someone happy while it was costing me so much more mentally and spiritually then I didn’t do it. I started living more of a purpose driven life and I became a much happier and productive person.
- Starting IVF Treatments and Getting Pregnant – 2018 was one of the best years of my life because I finally got pregnant after 6 years of trying to conceive. This experience was life changing and I realized that some of the tools I needed to get through this process, were things I acquired from my mindset growth and becoming an ex- people pleaser. My growth was necessary to overcome the challenges of going through IVF and in doing so, I learned to have “Crazy Stupid Faith” that most people couldn’t understand. From all the work I had done on myself, I knew how to stand stronger in Faith and hold on to Gods promise. I was unshakable, unmovable, unwavering in the fact that I was going to finally realize my dream of being a mother. This was beyond anything I had experienced before, because I got a front row seat to see God in action. Despite all odds and a million ways things could have gone wrong, after months of treatment, having several eggs and embryos that didn’t survive, I got pregnant with my miracle baby boy who is set to arrive in the next 10 – 13 weeks.
My Biggest Challenges & Lessons I Learned
- Do not revert to old habits and behaviors – No matter how much you learn and start to change, you have to be very aware of your actions so you don’t revert back to old behaviors and habits. Most especially when you experience sudden and difficult situations, it’s human nature that your first response is to react in the way you’re used to. It requires a certain level of consciousness, intention, discipline and consistency to stick to your new mindset and behavior, and eventually it will become a habit. Therefore, I have learned to take time to process and analyze information I get before I answer. I also take more time to listen and think before speaking. To sustain the change I make things a routine and utilized my support system when needed to remind myself of my goals and growth, to hold be accountable so I don’t fall back into old beliefs, feelings, habits and behaviors that no longer served my higher purpose.
- Share more of my personal struggles with my community – Although I love helping people and I don’t mind sharing certain aspects of my life because we can learn from each other, I’m generally a private person with an introverted personality. But once I started transforming my mindset and growing my faith, I got the confidence and boldness to listen to God and share my fertility issues and journey to motherhood with the world. I also learned that I was a big procrastinator because I’m a perfectionist so I had to focus more on the purpose and process of something. I had to learn to just obey God and show up even if I don’t fully understand why and how things will turn out because God is the only one that can control the outcome of your actions, how it is received and impacts the lives of people. So now I am more intuitive and connected to God to get clarity. I’m more focused on being present and being my best and most authentic self when taking action instead of worrying about things out of my control because once you stop trying to know and control everything, God can fully manifest his greatness.
- Understand my limitations during my IVF treatments and pregnancy – Going through IVF treatments and getting pregnant was no joke. The biggest challenges for me was the excruciating pain right after my eggs were retrieved and the weeks/months right after. It took a lot longer for the symptoms and side effects of the treatment to resolve because I was also pregnant. There was also the mood swings from hormone changes , the fatigue and being limited to what I could do. For a woman like me who is always on the go, it was hard to slow down in general and sometimes I’d get frustrated with myself but God would always tell me to give myself grace and focus on just enjoying this season of my life. And he also gave me more instructions and reminded me that sometimes; less is more. Being busy doesn’t mean you’re more productive. So, prioritizing focusing on the most important things, asking for help, delegating, simplifying life was essential. I was reminded to also use this slow and quiet season to create, build and work on the next phase of my life while I take care of myself and the baby.
These experiences were so profound and significant in my life that I can never be the same again. As we enter the new year, I’m appreciative and excited of the new challenges, new growth, new lessons, new blessing, opportunities that I’ll have and I can’t wait to experience it and share it with you all.
Have a great day!