How’s your week going? So in most countries and cultures, by 30 you must have gotten quite a number of questions that go like this “Are you married? Why aren’t you married yet? Why are you still single?” and if you’re already married like I am, the next question is “Do you have any kids? How many kids do you have? Why don’t you have any children? I hope you’ve started trying to have children, you’re not getting any younger.” LOL….my point is, by 30 there are certain expectations placed on you.
Marriage is absolutely amazing when it’s to the right person and having children is such a blessing, but it’s nothing to be rushed into. Forget the expectations from society, your family, your peers, and heck yourself and just live. In fact, don’t just live, but live boldly and happily. You are not defined by a marriage license, a spouse or your children, you’re defined by the content of your character, how you treat people and make them feel. Here’s a continuation of my list of 30 things to do before 30.
16. Quit your job. This may be very difficult to do especially if you make good money, but if you don’t like the job, if they don’t appreciate or treat you with respect, if they’re not loyal and you’re simply unhappy, then it’s about time you quit. Money can’t buy you happiness.
17. Make decisions yourself. You can definitely seek the advice of family, friends, colleagues or mentors, but at the end of the day, you have to evaluate your situation and make your own decision for yourself. You can’t make decisions to please other people because you have to live with your choices.
18. Decide to acquire more knowledge. You can do this by deciding to go to college, graduate school or learn a skill, but the point is you have to have the drive and see the need to acquire knowledge and not do it because you’ve been coerced.
19. Start saving for retirement. It can be as simply as saving a certain percentage of your paycheck routinely or starting retirement plan like 401k or IRA.
20. Invest in yourself and in your future. This comes with a certain dimension of maturity when you stop waiting for someone to invest in you, but you put in your own hard earned money into investing in your future like starting a business. This shows that you believe in yourself enough to risk your money on your dreams.
21. Join a focus group, find a mentor and be a mentor. Iron sharpens iron, and birds of a feather flock together, so find/start a focus group for people with similar goals and drive so you all can support, learn and help each other stay focused and grow together. You are only as successful as your network.
22. Give! Give! Give! You should learn to give your time, your energy and your money. Find a way to help people less privileged and support a cause you’re passionate about. I always say, nothing is too little to give because if everyone gave a little of themselves, then everyone would have enough. Also the little you give may make a great difference in someone’s life.
23. Allow yourself to Fall in love. Yes! I said it, and I don’t mean the love that is logical and safe, but the all-consuming love that is intense and irrational that some say is blind. That is actually true love because you see the other person’s faults and all, but still choose to love them. That’s the love I’m talking about, the one that Beyoncé sang about in Drunk in Love.
24. Go through a painful breakup. This usually creates a feeling of brokenness and defeat and it may seem like the end of the world, but with time and healing you realize that you are much stronger than you realize and that everything is going to be ok.
25. Evaluate your relationships. Let go of toxic relationships because they can ruin your confidence and drive you insane. They bring out the worst in you and make you unhappy most times, so why keep ingesting poison? Meanwhile, connect with an old friend that you’ve always regretted losing touch with. Being the first one to reach out and tell them you miss them, to make an attempt to see them again is a great step.
26. Be vulnerable. Tell someone you love them without knowing for sure whether they love you back and learn to open up more with family and friends so they can really see your soul. Authenticity and vulnerability is beautiful and refreshing and you’ll be amazed at the love and respect you get back.
27. Make new friends that are different from you and have different backgrounds. You learn so much from these relationships, it builds character, understanding, tolerance and love, and makes you a better person.
28. Go on vacation with a significant other. This isn’t a family vacation or a trip over the holidays to visit friends or family, I’m talking about vacation just for you and bae to have fun and spend quality time with each other, agreed and paid for by only you two.
29. Host an event, even if it’s dinner at your place. This teaches you what goes into planning and what it feels like to be a host. It will help you appreciate people who actually show up for you, especially when they show up on time.
30. Making a huge physical change. Think about something you’ve always wanted to change but aren’t quite ready for e.g. a piercing, big haircut, color or style change, and just do it. You should occasionally break away from routine and just be spontaneous, it makes life fun.
There’s definitely a lot more things to experience before you turn 30 but also remember that 30 isn’t the end, it might just be the beginning of a great adventure. Let me share a secret with you, your 30s are more fun than your 20s but no need to rush, just enjoy the journey through life. Have a fabulous week.